WAS or WHAT 11

[roist]

If I was advising myself as I would others here I would be telling myself to use those opportunities to connect more effectively. But I seem to be placing on hold such stuff. Maybe I just can't focus on the "mundane" issues before I know whether we will stay together or moreso whether I want to continue living disconnected. I do know that I could do so and my W is not going anywhere fast (though as we see here that can change quickly).

Fundamentally I want what I always wanted since coming here first. To reconnect with my W. But the status quo is bareable for her and me.


I think that my W is seeing from my consistent actions that our situation as it is doesn't interest me. That is what my previously mentioned letter was about too.

But recently I have been less present in some aspects of parenting too. Nothing major bit still not part of the new me that I have been working towards. So my situation is still affecting/influencing me despite being detached. My W has mentioned this too but instead of reacting with validation and good husbandly attitude, I wasn't able yo put aside my "not like this" mentality

Whereas part of me believes I am still on the best path and that for now connection isn't possible, I am curious how others read this.