Gordie 21 going with my gut

[roist]

Gordie

I have three points regarding your last posting.

1. Whenever she comes to you and opens up, she needs to feel heard. So reread the validation threads. Just like a WAS that has left you need to capitalise on those occasions which are fsrcsnd few between. With a live in MLCerthose other interactions can over cloud such moments and opportunities get missed.
To feel fully heard she probably would like you to share your reaction to what she said. I would refrain from that for the moment. Concentrate more on understanding what she's saying and letting her know that. Your side of things can be shared when conditions are better. One exception I would see is if she repeats an initiative to share your bed. That one you need to control and express your thoughts. Not indeptly, just to say that under current circumstances that may not be best. You know best how things really are. My viewpoint tells me not to rush that one, even though it is surely what you want long-term.

2. Keep a journal. Jot down things she says mainly into two categories
a) stuff she likes, wants, etc
b) stuff she dislikes.
Use this stuff to guide you in your interactions . Can also help with gift ideas. This is a tool mote for healthy Ms but could be helpful. I mentioned it in my last thread.

3. Reread Sandi's threads. WAW can say and do a lot to achieve what they want. Until undeniably proven by consistent actions over a prolonged period, take each step in the right direction with caution. Some are manipulative. Others just don't know fully what they want. Either way thread slowly. The advice given here about it being up to the WAS to prove themselves is not simply about who takes the first syeps.I believe the WaS has to undergo a process where they want to be with the lbs. If the way back is too easy, they avoid this decision process and risk decidin

What would it tske for you to be ready to accept her on your room again?


Best wishes