Journaling...will be happy to see D after daycare today. I love having her with me, but at the same time feel terrible taking her from W. Have to keep reminding myself this wasn't my choice.
I read the 5 love languages this weekend and watched an hour+ video from the author. Learned alot. I scored a tie for Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. Best guess I imagine Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch are the top 3 for W. Quality Time and Physical Touch we both completely let slide post-D, equal blame and I would say the cause for our S. Would be great if we could ever work on those together, but given current circumstances it doesn't seem likely.
I continue to miss her greatly and emotionally my desire to contact her, see her, hear her voice is off the charts, but...the rational part of me continues to prevail so I stay silent to give her the time and space she wanted. Had a great weekend out GAL'ing. I know I'll be fine if it comes to D, it just continues to be so very hard to understand how W could take off without any attempt at R. I know we had our problems, in fact in the video from the author of the 5LLs explains our exact sitch AND how to get through it, but I guess no matter I'm too late.
My gut still tells me that there's OM even though I have no proof. My gut feel matches up with many of the other sitchs I've read here where the W is done. Believing that to be the reality has enabled me to push forward in a life without her. Would it be a dealbreaker for me, currently I live with the belief it would be so that is why I'm taking to my post-W world quite well. If W came to me, disclosed whatever has happened and wanted to work on our R again...no idea how I would feel nor what I would do. For now ignorance is bliss and I live to enjoy the cards the good Lord has dealt me. All I can do.
Hope all of you have a good week, wishing you nothing but positive developments in each of your sitchs.
