For a while after ex left, i felt like i just wanted another relationahip so badly. So that i could do everything differently. Learn from my mistakes. Proove that i am nice. Not a emotionally abusive partner...etc, etc.
I always knew, but i am now experiencing that everyone has negative tratis. They might be different in each person, but they are still negative. And you get to the point of, " people suck. Do i really want to deal with these negative traits? Do i really want to deal with someone elses crap? Its different crap sure. But its still crap. I dont know if i built up a wall, or am choosing the wrong guys either. Or maybe im just recognizing things I didn't before.
Do you actually benefit from coupling up with someone? If not, whats the point?
Now thats how i feel at 40 with a kid. Although i always wanted another child so i understand where your coming from.
If you want a family, its a little different i guess. Although as a man, you dont have as much pressure.
