Gordie 21 going with my gut

[Rita]

Gordie!!!! I don't understand why you are asking for advice at the end of a post where you describe the most perfect behavior a spouse could offer for an MLC on the way out of the tunnel.

You did everything perfectly.

In your writing, I always have this impression of this calm, totally unneurotic always-listening man with a beautiful soul and a joyful outlook on life -- I sort of think of you like Saint Francis, maybe even including the sandals! You know the prayer, "Stay awake, for you do not know when..." Well that to me is you, you are always AWAKE in that spiritual way. Even when you are suffering.

That is so inspiring to me.

I get a tiny glimmer in this post of yours that you are wanting to start pushing and that the advice you are asking for is just for us to say, no, don't push yet.

Not to get racy here, but there are times when waiting and going slow can be very exciting. So I would take that metaphor and run with it. Instead of seeing this waiting as possibly painful agony, see it as delicious agony.

Maybe if you read Hosea again -- Hosea waits on line with the other men who want to buy his W!!!! Talk about patience! But in doing so, he gets closer to God, and I imagine that after that kind of trust and self surrender and self sacrifice, and after some strangeness and awkwardness (what you are going through now and maybe for some time longer) the physical and emotional reunions with his actual W are equally mind-blowing.

That is what you are doing. Seems to me you are getting close, so just keep giving her a long long leash.

P.S. I had told myself that when I had to start a new thread, I had to write the faith story you asked for as the first post. I am not sure I have the time or gumption to do it with what is going on, but Job just told me to start a new thread, and I think it might be one of those times where I have to say yes to something my will says no to!