What a rough night. I couldn't sleep and eventually had to take a bunch (3) of NyQuill. I finally faded off after 3:30 a.m. Hopefully that was just first day jitters, plus an upset stomach. I need to sleep better than that if I want to function and be positive going forward.
I never responded to W's text yesterday but woke up this morning to an email asking to talk in person and to let her know what would be a good time for that. I don't really want to meet right now. I don't think seeing her will help my headspace, but at the same time I know we will have to see each other eventually. I also think I need some time to adjust to being back in the house and the city. I feel pretty far from a lighthouse right now. Is it worth asking what she wants to talk about? We need to set up some kind of schedule for her to see the dog, so that might be part of it.
I would suggest that the only reason you probably do not want to meet is because you want to avoid the potential pain of the injustice and lost (what could of been) feelings when you meet up.
In reality this meeting is what it is.. any emotional attachment you have is what you have manufactured for yourself around it.
I am not downplaying how you feel - I acknowledge its pretty sh%$, however nothing she says in this potential meet is going to make or break your day. You are on a journey and will continue down it regardless.
This could be alot worse. You are only 41 and there are no kids involved.
