Yet Another LBS w/ WAW

[hongaku]

Just journaling a bit. This past week hasn't been very eventful in terms of interactions with W, but I did lay the gauntlet down with respect to my time with the kids and let her know explicitly that 50/50 custody is non-negotiable for me, as is having an equal voice in major/important decisions in their lives. As a reminder, she had previously attempted to give me an agreement, which I refused to sign, in which she would be the sole decision maker and I would only see my kids about 25-30% of the year. I was polite about it, but definitely assertive. It felt good to stand up like that. I suspect she may be beginning to understand that this process is not going to go as she clearly planned. I still desire for things to eventually head towards reconciliation, but I'm getting prepared to have to protect my personal interests in this regardless of what it will mean for her financially, etc. I don't want things to get ugly, and I won't be on my end, but if she remains determined to follow through with D, then I'm going to have to only care about the impact on me and my boys when it comes down to it, period.

My S13 had his birthday this past Sunday and I was able to take him out just the two of us for an awesome day and then he spent the night and we had great conversation, played video games, ate pizza and watched some really cool anime together. Among the gifts I gave him was a bottle of quality cologne now that he's young man at 13 and I thought it an appropriate "manly" thing to give him. He really liked it and I taught him how to properly put it on to not overdo it. We did some exercises the next day and I taught him how to do pull ups, dips, planks and gave him a short strength training routine he can do on his own. It was awesome being able to have that one on one time with him and give him some good male bonding time.

I had a great interview this week for a really good position at a university and I'm crossing my fingers that I get it. I really honestly thought I would've already had a job months ago at this point and it's getting pretty tough to keep my head up about it as I've been applying to as many jobs as I can daily for going on 8 months now. Quite frustrating.

I'm just trying to stay busy otherwise and have been hanging out a good bit with my cousin and his friends this week, too. They are much heavier partiers than I am though, so it can get a little crazy to be around since I generally just have a couple of beers and these folks are taking it to a level I haven't personally experienced since high school and college. They took me to a "club" last night for the first time in my life with a DJ blaring electronic dance music. Perhaps not a novelty for some, but as a person who never experienced that scene, it was very affirming that it was indeed NOT my scene. Still, it was something I'd never done before and would not have otherwise been exposed to.

Looking forward to taking my boys to the movies this Sunday and hopefully having pleasant interactions with my W in the process. Obviously, I will be sticking to the 37 rules and focus on the kids, not her. She may want to discuss the time with the kids issue and some logistics involved in that, so I want to be ready for anything like that and keep a positive mental attitude.

I hope everyone here on the forum has a great weekend! I'll leave you with this awesome quote from the novel Dune by Frank Herbert:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”