This week was a pretty good week for me. I didn't apply to any more jobs, but it was a restful week I was able to turn my attention more towards setting better habits for myself and taking a look at what's working and what's not in my life. Calling my son on Wednesday was great. We did FaceTime and he was in a good mood. He told me W bought brownies, cookies, and cupcakes, which is exciting for him, but a dead giveaway to me that W is feeling depressed herself. I only talked to W about scheduling the next exchange of our son, and she was getting frustrated with son who was climbing all over her. She told him she wanted him to leave her alone for a few minutes while she talked to me. I don't know if there was anything else she wanted to talk about. She seemed distracted by son, so I just said I could go so she could give him her attention. I'm glad I talked to my son, and want to keep doing that at least once a week while W has him.
Today when I picked up son, he soon told me again he didn't want to live with me, that he wanted to live with mom at grandma's house. I asked what he liked about grandma's house. This time he said he wanted to live there with mom and me, together. And he asked why mom's house couldn't be across the street. That was heartbreaking to hear from him. I get the sense that his emotions about this are hard for him to talk about and understand too. I told him that I would like to live together with him and mom too. I didn't know what else to say. I told him I loved him, and mom loved him too.
This week I met up with a running group for a 3-mile run and post-run meal at nearby restaurant. I think that was the best thing I did this week (calling son was a close second). I met some new people, and I think running is more uplifting for me than rock climbing which I've been doing a lot of but is starting to feel like a chore of a workout.
W changed the password for our (her) Netflix account yesterday, locking me out. Party's over :P. Oh well, she's probably doing me a favor in reality. I just need to replace the time I spent watching TV with something better. I've been wanting to start habits of reading and journaling, but Netflix and Youtube often distract me. I want to be more conscious of my choice to watch Youtube videos, and make a choice to do something else positive.
I haven't been coming to this forum as much this week either. I spend a lot of time here when I'm anxious about my sitch. I've been journaling in a notebook each night this week, and that's been pretty good. It's different than writing here.
Still a long road ahead I know. This week was kind of a breather/recovery week. Next week is my 8th anniversary on Tuesday. It will be just another Tuesday this year. I'll be staying busy that day.
Me:30 W:31 S:4 M:7 T:12 PA: 5/6/18 - ? W moved out 7/18
