Getting Back to my Old Self

[DonH]

Even her daughter thinks she drinks too much. What was Wild Girl's response to this?.

I could tell she took it seriously but then also tried to explain it away - including her being a 15 yr/o and also stating that her 17 yr/o isn't worried at all. I also find it interesting how she is critical of people who drink too much. She talks about her exH as a total falling down drunk and says nearly the same about one of her brothers. She claims she "knows when to stop" which is I guess true as her behavior is not adversely effected other than the last time with the shots in the bar where she readily admitted she had too much to drink.

I see this very thing with a keyboard player I do a lot of gigs with. He has huge family history with his father but he too looks at how his father was clearly an alcoholic - would miss work, be held up in his house for days drinking, etc. Because he doesn't do any of those things he doesn't consider himself an alcoholic. However, some others do and he meets at least some of the criteria. I know someone else that can drink like Wild Girl does but I'd not consider her an alcoholic either as it does not effect her life negatively - which is often one of the criteria. It's the same with Wild Girl. I've never seen it effect her in like missing work, no DUIs in fact she is very, very cautious about drinking and driving. Some people get really mean, angry, have outbursts, their behavior and personality completely changes. That's not WG - she's the same when she wakes up in the morning as she is after a bunch of beers. She meets all of her obligations with the kids, etc. So her behavior is not negatively effected by her drinking - still she is high enough on the suspicion index - at least for me - to be cognoscente of it. If nothing else, I think she's unaware that she might be farther up the scale than she thinks she is. That's the case with many with addiction - admitting it is often the hardest part. I'm just saying, it's NOT at all a clear cut case. In fact, other than I am able to count - if I didn't count or know the consumption amount, I'd not even consider it. The other indicators are not there - it's just amount and perhaps frequency.

For what it's worth, it seems like your both enjoying it for what it is, keep it going and enjoy each other as long as it lasts (not implying it's time limited)... Enjoy your cruise

I'm going on the cruise either way. We'll see if WG wants to as well. It is interesting how people's behaviors change. Earlier on she was telling me how she was excited to get together, etc. but was still cautious of not being too excited. Lately, she's been more as if trying to tell me she won't see me for awhile - as if to prove something - like she can go multiple weeks without seeing me - even though we are still talking everyday. She's still not committed to this coming Monday and I'm not bringing it up again. Honestly i'll be disappointed if her parents, her aunt, some of her friends show up and she does not. Sensing her need for space, I've completely not contacted her much if at all this week - but I'll always respond. So what happens, I don't reach out and of course she does. Last night it was getting late and my phone rings. Again, for someone trying to play it cool and not be all that interested, she's certainly doing a lot of thinking about me, talking with friends and co-workers - one of which invited WG and I to do something this Saturday (I'm busy) and then calling last night and admitting she missed me. So far she's initiated contact Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

It's again all fine with me. I continue to wonder if I'd be shutting down if she were constantly saying "I can't wait to see you this (fill in the blank)" or "I miss you so much", etc. Her words sort of say one thing while her actions say another. Who is really not that interested but then calling and texting several times a day? The two don't add up. Either way, I'm enjoying it because it really all is very casual in nature. The more it goes the more my initial thought that this is just a fun fling is reinforced. But beyond a few red flags (like the drinking) on balance there really is not a lot of concern and she always treats me well - as I do her. In fact, we've not really had an argument of any sort and that's not from lack of discussing lots of subjects and being together I'd say about 100 hours now. That says something as well I guess. So we'll see what happens this weekend as I'll be parking 10 minutes from Wild Girl's house to meet up with another band member and his wife this weekend. I'm guessing she wants to try to surprise me on Monday - perhaps the "surprise" will be she does something else? Then she leaves for her vacation a week from tomorrow and I leave for a really fun festival in Michigan a few days later. We both return the following Sunday and will be together until Tuesday night.

I do have to say, I like this way better than trying to find new women to date, going out once or twice and starting the process all over again. I will admit, I've missed this (whatever "this" is) more than I knew.