just got caught up on your sitch. One thing I noticed is that you are trying to logic and reason to get her to stop. For example "do you know what this will do to the kids". That is super pursuit, trying to influence her in the most overt fashion. I did that too. It also didn't work for me.
Then you say "I don't know that I want you back" and she calls your bluff. She, I, and everyone here can see right through that. Now you have to restore a little credibility.
You said she owes you "more time to process". Again super "control-ly" sounding. You don't get to tell her how she lives her life, so stop trying. This is driving her away and convincing her she is doing the right thing. What kind of strong, confident guy needs to tell a woman things like this?
Lane, you have no control over "we". You only control yourself. So don't try to "cancel it", you can just state whether or not you are going. If she has filed, there's probably no sense in you going.
You said "it's like my old wife is gone"...Well, I'm sorry to say it, but she is gone. You are right that you haven't gotten past it yet. You are clinging hard to any thread you can, when you need to let go and work on something you can control.
Focus on you, quit being snarky with her, fake some confidence and happiness (but not too much) around her for the meantime and GAL. Don't react to her jabs, don't be the H b/c she said she doesn't want that. Move on with life and enjoy it - carpe diem.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
