Thanks for your feedback, Steve. Yeah I really don't know. I definitely want to do more research on the topic.
Last night, D came into my room after H went out of the night. Out of the blue, she said that she would never want me to leave, and she could never replace me. She said that she was afraid that I wanted to leave and find another family bc she and D1 fight all the time (which, they really don't... no more so than typical siblings). I just tried to comfort her and assure her that things would be fine and I didn't want to be anywhere but there with her and our family.
H tried to talk to me again last night about how we're going to D. I think I set him off unintentionally. He told me he's still losing weight even though he's not trying to, and I made a comment about how it's because he's so stressed. That immediately put him on the defensive and then he started verbally attacking me and saying that he was going to get a mediator to talk about what we need to do next Friday.
To be clear, I have still not been served with papers. I know he filed, but that's because I looked it up myself. No one has actually given me any documentation.
I just feel like I need more space. I'm not sure the best way to get it.
I've been talking to people online and meeting up with them. I make it clear to these people (men) that I am not interested in dating, or anything physical, but I just need people to talk to and keep me distracted. Some people tell me to go f@ck myself. Others are really cool and are happy to kick it with me in a bar. That's all I'm really looking for. But H is aware of this. He insists that he is happy I've "moved on" (even though I tell him that's not my intent), but at the same time, he wants to know my business all the time now. He makes snarky comments about who I must be talking to, and that he doesn't care what I'm doing..... but still, he asks.
I have got to find a way to get more room between us. He is someone that HAS to be left alone to process. I know this. I'm not sure the best way to do it without fully moving out, and I feel like that will send the wrong message to the courts. I'm really in a bind.
Right now, we are jointly putting the kids together. I'm wondering if maybe we should just say "this is your night out. As soon as I come home, you need to leave" (he works from home 90% of the time), or if I should say, "this is my night out. I'm not coming home until well after the kids have gone to bed."
I just don't know.
The last time, I just moved out completely and went to my dad's house. But my daughter was an infant, and none the wiser. It's not so easy this time. Any guidance?
