Hey Ginger, have to agree with what Don said here. HC said from the beginning he wasn't ready for anything serious and you two still went out, from his perspective you both knew the terms and seemed ok with it. Now if you weren't ok with it I don't think its his responsibility to make that decision for you as others have said here. We all have to be responsibly for our own actions and feelings, not put them on others. Its your job to walk away from something if its not working for you, not his to make you walk away. The part about him throwing it back on you, I don't really see it as necessarily the wrong thing of him to do either. I can understand how you could feel frustrated but when someone tells us something and shows us the same message with their actions, its on us to accept that and not put unrealistic expectations on them. I know you tried to go into it just seeing where things went without the expectations. But actions show us they're there. Please don't take any of it as personal either, you know hes just in a different place in life. As far as what you plan to say to HC, sounds good. Honest communication and stating the situation isn't for you, nothing wrong with it.
The new guy, just be cautious and take things slow. I think you may end up being the one to slow him down? All the texting on the first day, two dates back to back and you know a bunch of his history already. The relationship he just got out of a few months ago, how long was the gap between that one and his ex-w? Something to consider, some people cant be along and need a relationship to define them. I certainly was that way when I was married. I never developed my own identity other than the one that meshed with my ex-w. To lose that was to lose me, I think that could add to what kml was saying with him spinning excessively after a breakup if he struggles to be single. Just by 2 cents though
Congrats on the house btw! Glad you could find something that works for you
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
