Am I coming or going?

[Dawn70]

So, I am pretty sure it just ended with HC. Here is out text exchange:

Me: Adjusting to single parenting and divorce while managing a full time career takes a lot out of you. I get that more than anyone. however, I never reached out to you or made plans, we would probably never speak to each other or see eachother.

HC: Perhaps this is a conversation that is not suited for texting, but that is a fair assessment and you have every right to feel that way. As I told you earlier, I realized I don't have the capacity to get into a relationship or even pretend to ease into one - I don't see one on my horizon. It isn't fair to you and perhaps I am keeping you at arms length much firmer than I should.

Me: I don't want this to end over text, I hate that.

HC: I am not ending anything. I am just reiterating my status and leaving it open for you to take whatever steps you need to take.



He wanted to meet for a drink to talk tonight, but it's my last night with D10. So we will talk on the phone tonight and I will end it.


What seriously disgusts me, while he is being honest (well, he wasn't completely in the beginning) he knows how I feels and won't say "this isn't fair to you, we should end it". Instead, his last comment said "I'd be happy to keep sleeping with you, but you aren't getting anything else from me: your choice"

And yes, that really stinks. I am sad. Frustrated with myself. Sick of being the woman who meets a guy who isn't ready and just wants to use her for sex and companionship. And I know that part is partially my fault.

But I still have emotions around it. Ugh,

You know, I was in HC's corner until his response to you. MAYBE he's keeping you at arm's length further than he should? WTH? Seriously dude? And I totally agree with J9.....I don't like that he put it back on you. While I agree that it isn't necessarily a conversation to have over text (which I think you believe as well but you took a limited opportunity where you saw it, so I don't blame you for that, since your contact is so limited, mainly by him), it seems to me that if he was any kind of stand-up guy, he would've gone ahead and said yeah, not great over text, but you are right and I'm sorry we couldn't work it out (or something to that effect). But, no, he just tossed it back in your lap so that he can basically leave the door open to get some if you are still willing. Ugh............seriously? Now, before anyone else responds, I realize that I am mind-reading some as I'm not in HC's head so I don't know what his actual intent in what he said was, but G, since I know you and I think alike, I'd be surprised if your thinking wasn't along that same route mine is.

I'm so sorry it shook out that way, but I know you have better things on your horizon.