arrggh it hurts so much, I thought I had it together. that I was prepared but seeing it actually happen is living your worst nightmares. WH is moving out over the next few days starting today. SIL and he are packing and moving, really feel like the LBS now. How can anyone do this to their children? D3 will have her world shattered, i have to bear witness to her pain. I am DBing as if my life depended on it, I have GALd this entire week leaving kids at home with WH and SIL (he was angry that it did not give him a chance to pack), today morning while they packed I dressed well, looked pretty, was upbeat and cordial with WH and laughing with kids and dropped them off at school with extra hugs and kisses. Once i got alone in the car the dam broke and I cried. A friend of mine thinks I should talk to WH and tell him to not leave us. I know that he will not change his mind, but she thinks it at least will let him know that I think he is wrong to walk out on us, even though he plans on having children with him for couple of days a week. I have not asked him move out, so I should not ask him to run away from his family, am I wrong? Should I at least express a little bit of the anguish I feel inside instead of making it seem as if we cannot wait for him to move by being so upbeat? I still cannot believe this is happening, I did everything right in life, I studied hard, earned my undergrad and Masters in the technical field, landed a good job and worked my way up. Had 2 lovely children when we felt we were off student loans and financially stable, finally when things were to be on auto pilot he backs out. While my head knows if there is a chance of R, he needs his space to look within but my heart weeps for the loss. Well, now is the true test, I at least need to see him be a decent father and not abandon kids all together for me to have any respect for him. Once he leaves, the doors are only slightly ajar, he needs to earn his way back in. I hope god gives me the strength.
