Newcomer

[jaylove]

I am in exactly the same position - 12 years and 2 beautiful little kids. It beggars belief. So I share your pain. I have come to the conclusion that it is a defense mechanism too. However I think it is to shield themselves from the guilt they are feeling. This would also explain the tirade of 'bad things' I have supposedly done over the entire course of our relationship most of which are exaggerated or taken totally out of context to justify.

My wife had a nervous breakdown, for various reasons including going on a massive alcohol binge while on prescription medicines which have serious side effects combined with alcohol
She is unable to see that she at least was a part of the reasons she had her breakdown. She then spent a month in a psychiatric hospital and during that time she blamed me for everything that was wrong in her life. She even filed for divorce while still under the care of the hospital.
The things she’s saying about me are simply either exaggerated or untrue, so it’s so frustrating watching her pick apart our family whilst being powerless or unable to get through to her to see any reason, or at least hold off for a whole until her mental state is better.