Has it gone too far?

[SteveLW]

uk, welcome to the board. You are not alone, and you will find that out here quickly.

First, follow all of Cadet's reading and advice. It is crucial. I see you are already working on GAL. But you need to commit to detachment. GAL will help you a lot with that, but the key to potentially waking your wife up from the fog is for you to truly detach.

Also when we get on well, she then drops in something to remind me of what is happening, to unsettle me

This is her rebelling against the MR. My W did this. When things went well, when we were operating as a team and functioning as a family, she'd remind me that she still wanted to leave. I am not sure this is to unsettle you as much as it is a effort to convince you, and herself, or even just to remind you both that she still want out.

Note, we have a saying around here that it always gets worse before it gets better. As you get better at detachment, GAL, 180s, and being the best uk82 that you can be, she will start to question her decision. This will upset her and she will lash out, rebel, etc. Most LBSs see that as a bad sign, but those are actually positive because it shows she is having an internal struggle against her proclamation.

So just read and study as much about DBing as you can. And keep posting here. And keep working on you and implementing the DBing techniques you learn about. There is always hope! We have folks here that have R with their WAS, or headed that way, even years after D! So never give up!