the effectiveness of the "Silent Treatment" is real.
For someone that I want as little contact and dealings with as humanly possible, the silence from Her is really bothering me.
It allows for all manner of future guessery. -Is she plotting? -Is she sad/upset about court ruling? -Is she experiencing loss and beginning to regret decisions she's made? -Does she simply not give a F? -Is she just busy?
I dont really care which of these scenarios is the case, i just dont like the "What is she planning to do" feeling? She has gotten so antagonistic and manipulative, its hard not to fret over when the other shoe drops....
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
GAL is always a given. Thats a constant. but if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times. I cannot simply choose what bubbles up in my mind. If I could somehow stop myself from having these types of thoughts I would do it in a heartbeat. just because I'm trying to avoid Dwelling on it does not mean that I am able to stop thinking about things. I still don't know for the life of me how you all pick and choose your thought processes and are able to just package up a certain piece of your situation that's bothering you and never think about it again. I have tried time and time again and I cannot compartmentalize these thoughts. I just have to cope with them which is why I post here to vent
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
GAL is always a given. Thats a constant. but if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times. I cannot simply choose what bubbles up in my mind. If I could somehow stop myself from having these types of thoughts I would do it in a heartbeat. just because I'm trying to avoid Dwelling on it does not mean that I am able to stop thinking about things. I still don't know for the life of me how you all pick and choose your thought processes and are able to just package up a certain piece of your situation that's bothering you and never think about it again. I have tried time and time again and I cannot compartmentalize these thoughts. I just have to cope with them which is why I post here to vent
I think I've answered this before, but the way I did it was to keep my mind busy. At work I dove into work. At home I was always busy doing something. The gun range was a great escape from these thoughts. The times I struggled with my thoughts were the times I was inactive, and just sitting stewing in my thoughts. I got advice here and other places to stay busy from the minute I woke up until the minute I fell asleep.
I asked you yesterday what you had planned for after work. You said workout then be bored at your brother's house. That is danger time. I didn't push back because sometimes you react badly to being questioned, but there are ways to STAY busy, that don't cost anything.
Being busy is the key to escaping the thoughts that bubble up, but you have to commit to it.
This probably didn't help, but since you brought up not knowing how others do it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
honestly, even when doing gal activities it's still pretty frequently on my mind. being busy doesn't really seem to help. I'm not spinning out emotionally today like I was on Monday, but I do not foresee a day where she doesn't cross my mind happening for a really long time if ever. I feel like I have made a lot of strides in realizing that she is toxic and abusive and Reconciliation would be a bad idea for us. I feel like this boards definition of Detachment is potentially unattainable for me. I do not spin out emotionally like I used to as badly or nearly as often, but as far as Detachment goes I don't feel as though I've made much progress at all. to imagine a time where she has absolutely zero impact on my mood and does not invade my thoughts on a regular basis seems like a fantasy to me
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Here is an idea....the next time your mind starts to get invaded by thoughts of PDWIFE, send your new instagram friend a message. Keep doing this. Eventually you'll skip the first part (having your thoughts invaded by PDWIFE) and to right to the second part (messaging your new instagram friend).
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
really odd feelings last few days. Very restless, fidgety and nervous. Dunno why. Man, do i miss contentment, feeling rested and calm.
I may not be angry RN, or sad, whatever, but i am not calm. or at peace. I dont remember what those feel like if im being honest. I think Probably around Christmas 2016 was the last time i felt complete.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
