Just because she broke up with "this" OM doesn't mean that she wants her old life and family back. She's got a lot to process and that may include continuing to "explore her options".
^^^Agreed.^^^ She's on her own journey and all you can do to help is get out of the way. If she wants to recon she will come after you. Until then she doesn't want to and you should ask or pressure or pursue.
Originally Posted by LANE777
She said " You'll will be glad to hear that me and the OM are not a thing anymore" I just stood there. And then I said well to be honest it was never right to begin with and it would never last.
That wasn't the time to try and teach her a lesson or gloat. What she did was wrong, but she's hurting over it and you should back off at times like that. Just a polite "I'm sorry you're going through this" would have been more appropriate. Not sure if you read Sandi's posts elsewhere but now and then she talks about the withdrawals she went through when she decided to work on her M and abandon OM. Sandi is very well-loved and respected by everyone here so if Sandi says she was suffering and in pain about losing OM then you can take it to the bank and assume it is the same for your W. From your perspective none of it seems fair, but from her perspective she is not just losing OM but her fantasy of what life with OM was going to be like.
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I basically said well when you wanted to be separated you told me you wanted to just go be you and find yourself and then you hook up with some dude you work with. I said, what you really need to do is do what you told me and everyone else you were going to do. I said You need to be by yourself and figure yourself out. I asked if she would like a hug and she said no.
OK so you kicked her down into the mud and spat on her and then asked her if she wanted a hug. I'm not surprised at her response. Look I get it, you think she deserves this. But try and have some sympathy for her. This "I told you so" attitude is not earning you any points with her.
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So whats my next move???? I believe its still GAL and be the best version of me as possible.
Yup. Back off and leave her alone. DO NOT break into pursuit mode, just because OM is gone doesn't mean it changed your sitch with her any. Even if she were to come back now it would be for all the wrong reasons and would fail again in the future. She still has a lot of work to do. You do too.
