I woke up in the middle of the night. I don't trust W at all.
I think I might be served D papers in the next few days. The reasons why:
- W wanted to take a photo of me (a recent photo is required for serving D papers).
- Once served, you then have a week to respond to the papers.
- W is going away with kids and in-laws and won't say when they are returning other than it will be after about a week or so. She won't say when, but she will know because she would have booked the days off work.
- W lied about which day they are going. She had said Sat but it will be Friday.
- MiL gave me a big long hug but she wants W & I to split. Wife has been more friendly and coming back into the house. I think it's guilt, the calm before the storm.
Whilst they are away, I don't want to sit around waiting for a knock at the door with the possibility of D papers so plan to take a break away from that pressure. That is as far as I can see at the moment.
W hasn't told me when she will be back from a break away with the kids. I would like to know when I will see the kids. How can I best phrase it so that it doesn't come across as pursuit?
W hasn't told me when she will be back from a break away with the kids. I would like to know when I will see the kids. How can I best phrase it so that it doesn't come across as pursuit?
"W, I will miss the kids and would like to see them as soon as you return from the trip, could you please let me know when that will be?"
I've just had an interesting chat with MiL who I know wanted us to split. She says she's impressed with how calm I've been, lost a lot of weight, look much better, and I should continue the progress.
MiL claims that she didn't know W had been planning to leave. I know that isn't true. MiL says if there is OM then she will be very angry with W.
MiL says W takes after FiL in that she keeps her feelings to herself whereas MiL has a bad temper. I think W is like both of them. FiL then called over for MiL to stop talking to me. MiL says she would like just the 2 of us to talk for a coffee sometime.
A) Tomorrow I'm due to have the kids all day. W said I could only see them later in the afternoon. I was polite. calm but firm to say that it was short-notice, I had plans for them, and she should respect that what we do on days without her is up to me.
B) She said she wasn't able to collect them on time today as she will be late. I asked if she would mind the kids staying longer with me until she arrives as I wouldn't be seeing them next week (as W and IL's are taking them away). I asked if it was possible for them to stay the night. She said she would speak to her parents. FlL arrived to collect. He said he hadn't spoken to W. I suggested he called her to see if possible for kids to stay longer. He asked if I was refusing him to take the kids. I said no, he drove off. Kids are still with me.
Today, I suddenly realised that W & IL's have been taking advantage of my good nature for a very long time. They have treated me with utter contempt whilst being friendly towards me.
Today was a turning point. The kids heard the way FiL spoke to me. I stuck up for myself to get my time to see the kids. The kids were really pleased that I did.
LBH 47 WW 47, M 15 T 18 D 11 S 14 BD, I moved out (duped) Jan 18 3 yr EA with ex-H discovered: Feb 18 I moved back in: Aug 18 (against her wishes) ...No R No M/C, continued limbo, dropping the rope!
I had planned a full day out today with my children but was given very short notice yesterday by W to say I could only see them for a couple of hours because she was arranging for them to do something else rather than be with me. I said "No" I would have them all day as planned. W then asked to speak to one of the children to decide what to do. I explained they were busy and that I would decide. I said to W that she would have to respect that I am their father and that I have made the decision that they will be with me for the full day. W seemed to agree, reluctantly.
Yesterday, FiL arrived to take the children earlier than planned. I asked if he would wait longer. He claimed I was refusing to let them go with him. I wasn't. I politely and firmly told him that he would have to respect that I am their father. He left. The children were pleased. W collected them later (kids said she had been at a meeting after work with 2 others either of whom I suspect might be OM if she is having/had A).
I then felt something different about me, like I'd never felt before. W has told lies, left me, broken our family, has been taking money etc. but my final straw was her lack of respect for me with the children. I have looked after them pretty much on my own since they were born and I've done a fantastic job - they are great kids doing extremely well at school. Yet W doesn't respect me at all.
