Gordie #20: patiently living my life

[roist]

Gordie,

I could say so much to you. Your situation and comments trigger many responses in me.unfortunately I do not have the time to write much.

Recently many people are pointing out that your W isn't fully in your M. Until she is, there can be no certainty about her future intentions or actions. She cannot be counted on, hence the no expectations guideline.

I know many including myself warned what limbo could occur if you backed off your moving out plans. I am sorry that that is the case. However only you can know if that was the best move. It might still be but it has lifted s certain discomfort from your W's viewpoint and that comfort could really slow down the process.

But you have daily opportunities to plant seeds and reconnect. That is an advantage over many here. But as Cadet would point out you cannot connect with someone that doesn't want to. So don't chase that. Use opportunities as they arise but don't dwell on making it happen.

Lastly I will say that the M you have at the moment isn't a fulfilling situation for either of ye. If a day comes that you decide that you no longer want to live that way, you can decide not to. That doesn't necessarily mean stopping standing.

You have a lot of good supporters on team gordie. I am glad for you. Listen to them and take away what is right for you. No one else has to walk in your shoes. But I would urge you to embrace life even fuller.

My twopence worth on your recent question is that I would have done something small and simple for the birthday on the lines of as if she was a good friend and I would have let slide the anniversary.

An.important ingredient of a healthy M are shared interests and doing stuff together. Remember that but don't bend over backwards to do what she wants unless it suits you too.

Best wishes mate