W was not able to be vulnerable, to express her needs/fears emotionally/clearly and be open to me.
Okay! So, that's a good insight, however I don't want you take the full blame for that. My W expressed something similar and I looked back and saw that every time she was vulnerable with me, I didn't dismiss her, but tried to problem solve instead of validate. So think back to how you acted when W was vulnerable with you and see what your pattern was.
Also, she has to shoulder some of the blame. Did she actually try and take more risk in trying to reach you? Does she have anxiety and conflict avoidance traits? Most of the time they want to blame the LBS for not being open, but in fact they have not actually been open and directly tried. They beat around the bush and hoping that we'll see between the lines. I don't tolerate such behavior any more. I ask people to be direct with me if I think they're beating around the bush.
At least you have some good insight here to do a 180 on it for your own growth. But don't take all the blame for it. She has to own up to her own behavior and take accountability.
I believe Brene Brown has some amazing stuff on vulnerability and its power. Once I opened up, I realized how amazing and relieving it was to be vulnerable and more authentic with people. It's like a cloud lifted off me. When you do this, you stop living for other people and live for yourself and stop giving a $hit what other people think of you - in a good way, not turning into an a$$hole.
