I guess my comment on your "limbo" issue is that I have been told on this board several times that limbo is the gift of time. It allows you the time GAL, 180's, detach, etc. and if you are still in the same home, it hopefully gives your spouse a chance to see the changes sooner that if you are physically separated and only seeing each other once a week for a few moments or even further apart if there are no children. I am standing up for my MR.
You are absolutely right, the word does get used here a lot in that context. I personally don't like that particular word as it applies to these situations though, because the word "limbo" is defined as "an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution" or "a place or state of restraint or confinement" and as such is in contrast to what DB'ing is. DB'ing isn't about confining yourself, it's about setting yourself (and your spouse) free and if you can do that, then recon may become an option. I'm not trying to split hairs, just trying to explain my opinion that it is perhaps not the best word choice when it comes to DB'ing.
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I agree that it took my W years to get to this point. She did not make this decision lightly, nor would she ever (if ever) refocus on our MR quickly. I am working more on detaching and moving on. NOT focusing on the daily things, and what she is doing or not doing. I'm focused on my children and our future. I am determined to do my best everyday. I feel stronger each day as well. I also know that whatever happens, I will be ok and I will be there for my children. This is HUGE for me as I put a lot of value in our family and our MR.
