My wife's midlife crisis

[kiro]

MarvinF, I totally agree and that would be a great idea if some professionals start specializing in this area.

I personally don't buy the idea that there is nothing that can be done to help someone in MLC other than waiting for them to go through it, do all the wrong things and damage everything in their lives.

Yes, it is probably true that there are no tools today to help MLCers, but these could be developed with more research.

One of the reasons MLCers can't be helped is because there is no good professional literature about the topic, based on scientific research and experiments. Most of the stuff either on the net or in bookstores is written by people like me, who are not professionals, but have lived through a MLC experience either as a MLCer or a LBS.

Even MWD's books DB and DR don't really address this topic in any detail.

When MLCers are in pain (before BD), they are looking for answers. They want to know what's going on with themselves, and so they look for books, videos, movies and articles about others who are going through similar pains. And they usually reach out to friends who are also going through MLC. But all of these people give them the wrong advice because they don't understand what's going on and because the only data they have is coming from their limited personal experience.

And many (maybe most) therapists are also skeptical about MLC because they have no data/research to support it. And so they insist on treating any MLC patients as if they were regular patients and using regular treatment options that we all know don't work for a MLC. These treatments only reinforce the MLC feelings of entitlement and selfishness.

I think generations ago, parents of a MLCer (and maybe priests) played an important role to advise their children that this is a only phase and that their long-term benefit is to be patient and not surrender to temptation. This doesn't exist anymore.

But I am sure that if there were professional material to guide MLCers through and out of their crisis, MLCers would be the first ones to jump on it.