Advice on my scenario pt. 20-Shock Therapy

[OrangeK]

Just think about it OK...remember you have to play your long game. Slow and steady wins the race. Fast forward your life 5 yrs from now and you own your own home, are taking s8 on fabulous vacations and you have a job that you love, provides a great income, and you have a W that is totally in love with you.

Mean while you EW is with her 3rd guy, still lives at home and can’t provide for herself.

Is that equality?

Joe, good points. Let me dissect it a bit, for realism's sake.

"Fast forward your life 5 yrs from now and you own your own home"
Let's say "have a great new apartment".
The likelyhood of me buying a house in the next 5 years is QUITE minimal.
My credit is like 580. Im not saving money, paycheck to paycheck, as it has always been in my life (New England is an expensive place to live sadly.)
So barring winning the lottery or having some crazy new job with a 150% pay increase fall in my lap, i doubt that'll happen.

"are taking s8 on fabulous vacations"
Again, this will be tough to accomplish, road trips and camping, no problem. Jetsetting to Europe. Unlikely lol.

"you have a job that you love, provides a great income"
This is a more feasible goal.
My job i have now is good, gets me by, but its not my passion.
Im refocusing my efforts back to 110% on getting onto a full time Fire Dept.
I was HARD CHARGING at that goal when i thought my MR was going well, then BD happened when i was in my most recent Firefighter Certification Program, and it sapped all the passion i had for the job away for quite some time. My interest, motivation and determination in the regard is just now coming back. I take that as a sign of positive forward movement though, to be rekindling my old passions.

"and you have a W that is totally in love with you."
Here is where I diverge.
I DO NOT plan on getting married again within the next 5 years.
I moved WAY too fast into living with PDWIFE, Getting pregnant, engaged and married. All for nothing.
I need to put myself first, and If i were married 5 years from now, i would see that as moving far to fast and hard into a New R. I am not opposed to dating in that timeframe, or even being in a serious commited R, but married is a bit of a stretch. I will admit, at this juncture, getting married again is going to be a HARD SELL. Same thing with having other children. Im quite weary to trust someone that wholly again anytime soon.

"Mean while you EW is with her 3rd guy, still lives at home and can’t provide for herself."


This is a very likely scenario. If you have seen posts from me before about how closely PDWIFE has followed in her parents R footsteps. Apples, Trees, and the distance from which they fall and all that.
She is currently stuck between staying at her moms, or OM's parents house, as he also lives with his parents.

Mother in Law - on Husband #3, is 56 years old, has never owned her own home, rents a crappy little 2BR condo, of which PDWIFE allegedly lives at, with MIL, Step-FIL, S3 and a dog and a cat. The place is tiny and cluttered.
MIL works 3 jobs to pay for her silly mid life crisis lifestyle, and to support Step-FIL, who is a drunk layabout who barely works. Her 2nd husband lasted about 4 years, and she obviously didnt profit from either of her divorces...

Father in Law - Used to have a lucrative business, but tanked his company about a decade ago. He is 58, has had a stroke and a myocardial infarction last year, he lives with his 78 year old mother, and barely works. He has also been divorced twice, and the 2nd Divorce was really really nasty. because he molested his 2nd Daughter and got caught and carged. This is why neither he or PDWIFE are allowed to see his 2nd Daughter, PDWIFE's Half Sister. They havent seen her since 2007.

"Is that equality?"
Equality? perhaps not.
However it would be fitting for her to have to eat the meal she cooked for herself.
She would try to blame me or others for her misfortune, but her status is on her.
We had a nice home, good jobs, a comfortable schedual and supportive families.
If she chose to throw that all away within the first year of M, so be it.