Overrnbw, in reading your updates I get the impression that your wife may need some space to sort through her feelings and to calm down. It sounds like sleeping in the same bed and planning social activities together at this time may exacerbate the problems as she feels torn between you and the other man and her double life. It must be a lot of work to carry on two relationships at once and to constantly be pulled in two directions. You can't control what your wife does but you can create circumstances that make it easier for her to calm down and to get some relief for yourself as well. It sounds like you did the right thing by saying you can't hang out on Sunday but you accepted her offer for yesterday - perhaps taking a complete 'time out' for the foreseeable future could be the right strategy at this point?
