YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Housewarming party at Ginger's! That is so exciting. I'm beyond thrilled for you. As far as HC and casual dating and some other things you mentioned. I have never been one to date more than one person at a time either until the past couple of years and then I was like hey....what the heck. I'm still not sure I'm ready for a relationship so maybe that is why it was easier for me to do than I would've thought it would be. Not sure. But just get out there and date. There may well be others like band guy out there that you are just missing.
Someone (sorry I have forgotten who because I can't remember crap these days) commented to you that maybe HC is just there for what he can get and if that doesn't work for you, then don't stick with it. He may well be a lovely man, but if he's not giving you what you need, why give him the time of day? I firmly believe that people do NOT inherently change. I know many people disagree with that, but that has totally been my experience. Sure, they can change their attitude, behavior, etc. but eventually they revert to who they truly are. I used to tell my daughters all the time and I also firmly believe this: when someone SHOWS you who they are, BELIEVE them. Actions speak louder than words and HC's actions speak volumes. You need to worry about you and what you have going on, not worry about why he's NOT worrying about you and what you have going on.
Doodler....I was a trumpet player and I'm not a narcissist. LOL But that was years ago, so maybe I was then and I have just blocked it out.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
But that was years ago, so maybe I was then and I have just blocked it out.