Advice on my scenario pt. 20-Shock Therapy

[OrangeK]

Also,

You keep saying:

Im not hoping for loss to get her back.

Are you trying to convince us? Or yourself? (This is not to answer, just to think about.)

I will answer, because I have answered this question several times, and nobodfy seems to believe me.

I am not trying to convince anyone. It is a fact I am fully aware of. I dont need to convince any of you of this fact, and certainly not myself.
See my reply to Makia.

Why is it nobody can seem to believe that I want knowledge about how she will act / react for the sole purpose of keeping myself emotionally defended?