Nothing wrong with taking the time to relax, manage stress and get sleep. In the beginning when the kids are not around, you need that. I don't want you to take what I said as you have to be active all the time. I spend my time reading, meditating, listening to podcasts, making new food etc. But I also get good sleep and take care of my stress. I wanted to improve my parenting skills and so I spent a lot of time on that when kids weren't around to understand my behaviors and then see how it went when they came back.
Anyways, it took me a good 7-8 months after BD to get to a place where I felt I wasn't wasting my time when the kids weren't around. It's a process. Be compassionate towards yourself and if sleep and netflix n chill is what you need, then do that for now.
Acceptance takes time. You can pretend to accept things in the beginning to help your healing, but it takes a little while. Again, don't beat yourself up. Take care of physical and mental health and give yourself a break. You're going through some hard $hit. You can't do all what you want to do right away.
