Quote: My question is, how does a SSHD get past the hurt/rejection to say the loving things you speak of? I'm a pretty quiet guy and the words I say really mean something to me. I just can't say loving words from my heart just to make someone feel good.
It's really a hard situation, CD - believe me, I know. Somehow, you have to find a way to rise above your feelings of hurt, humiliation, anger, and rejection and show your wife some forgiveness. I'm not saying it's easy. I'll share this because I know you're a Christian: I'm reminded of Jesus on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" And yet who ultimately showed forgiveness to us all?
Try just forgiving one little thing, just for a day, and tell her one little loving thing. In other words, don't try to fill up the whole bucket, just put a couple of drops in and see what happens. And, most of all, be patient - that is the HARDEST thing about this, it really is.
