My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 3

[OrangeK]

"Of course her parents blame me for letting her get drunk."
Stop talking to them 100%, they are enablers.

"Then she says I am being mean to her by sticking firm to my boundary. "
Because you arent doing what SHE wants you too, pissed you arent letting her eat cake.
STICK TO YOUR BOUNDARY.

"I perused her phone while she was passed out and found out she, surprise, didn't go to Chicago the weekend before and hadn't broke it off with the OM. Two big lies. I slept in the other bedroom. So the next day I'm ready to pack up and she's all "I love you, let's stay, blah blah blah". So I stayed."
Well now you know 100% she is Full of BS. Dont let her convince you otherwise again.
You should have left.

" I tell her I don't believe her several times, so she let's me read the response which basically confirms it. But OM's name is saved as "Brittany", her friend's name, instead of the guy's name. So I'm like wait WTF? Who did you text? "
Yet another poorly constructed lie and you know it. Stop letting her BS you So easily.

"Day is going OK but she brings up the affair, saying it's not an affair."
This is BS, CONFIRMED. Dont let her lie to you. DOnt accept lies.

"If you bring up the basic facts, she goes to how my mom had an affair or how I didn't treat her right."
Exuses, meekly justifying her behavior.
Answer A: "My mother wasnt any more right to do that than you are"
Answer B: "Even if true, not an exuse to cheat, you made a descision WIFE, own it. We both know you are actively cheating"

"I tell this to WW to make her feel better"
Stop giving her soft plush landing pads dude. LET HER HIT THE FLOOR.

"She's mad at me bc I was pissed and let her sleep in the car Friday night until 12:30 "
"Next Time dont drink yourself stupid and embarass yourself, act your age"

"Monday: she asks me this morning to do something tonight, I agree."
Whatever happened to - ""No, we can't hang out while OM is around"????
Id really stop folding and doing what she wants when she wants it if i were you.
GET MAD!!

"WW told me in so many words and through several convos that she is not in control of herself"
More BS excuse making. Anything to not accept blame and shame. She did this, she chose this, She is an adult. If she isnt in control of herself she should check herself into a mental facility.

"What's the strategy from here?"
Please excuse the blunt Steel I-Beam (no mere 4x8)
Take your balls back.
Stand your ground and retain your boundaries.
You know whats BS and what isnt.
You know what is excuses and blame shifting.
Stop tolerating it.
Stop letting her walk over you and treat you like S**T.
I think shes so complacent about walking all over you, if you actually start standing up for yourself she wont know WTF is going on.

I would pack up her stuff and remove it from your bedroom. Dont back down on this.
Tell her, dont ask.
YOU ARE CHEATING. I WONT LIVE WITH OR SLEEP WITH A CHEATER.
YOU ARE NOT A CUCKHOLD.

Strength to you brother.