But "too many lbs cling to their marriage hoping their old spouse would return and that never happens" is a bit of a stretch, no? I realize there is change, but complete change, as in core values and beliefs? I think ive read countless stories of people who really went off the reservation who realized the way they were living contradicted their cv and beliefs. Im not saying that they will not adjust their belief system to get their fix while they are in the fog....but i would think that eventually will wear off, no?
It would be absolutely fantastic is this WAW thing would just "wear off" and it was just a matter of waiting it out. But no, that doesn't happen. Whoever you thought you were married to, she's gone. Who you are married to now is a lying, selfish cheater. Now she might change her ways at some point, but here's the thing, if she does she won't go back to your "old W". If your old W is person 1 and your current W is person 2, then if she changes again she won't be person 1 again, she will be person 3. She'd be a reformed adulterer, right? It's kind of like how an alcoholic is always an alcoholic, they can reform themselves and avoid alcohol but they are still an alcoholic. They are always living on the tipping point. Do you follow what I'm saying? Your old W is gone. Surely you must admit you don't want to be married to person 2, that is the most unhealthy choice you can make. So you've got to decide whether person 3 is worth waiting for. The problem is she may stay person 2 forever like my mom did, or person 3 may be even worse than 2.
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Its neither here or there because thats out of my control. I need to work on me and start commanding the respect i deserve.
Quite right. But you won't need to command respect, it will come naturally once you get there.
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Earlier in the day my son realized that the om was the same guy who showed up at a concert 2 years ago and also met them after the event for dinner. At the time my w played if off like it was just a coincidental meeting with someone at work. Clearly we all know this was planned! How sick on both their parts to want to bring a high school freshman into something that!!!!!
Lying, selfish cheater, right?
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So my dilemma is have i done enough to protect my kids and show my ww that i will not tolerate an affair/open marriage? I have kicked her out of my bedroom and asked her to move out.
Let me ask you something, if your best friend came to you and said "I just found out my son is on heroin so I asked him to stop, do you think I did enough?" How would you respond to that. Quit asking people to do stuff you know they're not going to do. Take control of your life.
