Advice on my scenario pt. 20-Shock Therapy

[OrangeK]

I know I am late in this convo, but have you developed an actual schedule - from the minute you wake up till you go to bed? When I did that, I found how much unscheduled time I had that I was just meandering about. I shifted and slotted in my priorities and made my time accountable.

No i havent. Not a bad idea.

Also, you'll have to learn how to be alone but not lonely. If you have time on your hand after workout, why aren't you reading, listening to podcasts, reflecting, meditating etc etc. Going out costs $$$ - I know. There's tons of stuff you can do that doesn't cost a thing. I just listed a few.

In regards to reading and Podcasts, i try not to inundate myself with MR/DB stuff all day, if im thinking of DB/MR then i am thinking of WIFE. So this is why i try to spend time writing (fiction), playing D&D/Games, stuff that puts my mind not only off of WIFE but completely out of my life, in fantasy realm, or doing things like climbing/working out.
Its like if I spend 100% of my free time working on detachment and focusing on my sitch, itll just prolong it.
Just the 5 step cycle running its wheel. Round and Round.
Today seems to be a place of Anger, though not the unquenchable rage ive experienced in the past.
Right now i have a strong feeling id like to just yell at her. Shes such a damn child. Its really infuriating. Like i keep thinking ill be done with being angry at her, then it just comes back again and again.

Also, this is my take and so I add the qualification - motivation is garbage. Don't try to motivate yourself, just do. Look up Mel Robbins 5 second rule, and her interview on Impact Theory. I don't wait for motivation, I just follow through because I've already decided it's something I want to do and why I want to do it.

Someday's I am very easily "Motivated", other days I am FRESH out of Give a S**t, days like today I just want to tell her how awful she is, and that i dont know how the F she sleeps at night.
WIsh i knew where this anger was stemming from, no event caused this, we havent spoken in over a week.