Regarding my sitch being unique, it was more due to the fact that I hadn't seen any other posters with a situation where the FIL was meddling in the marriage. I have fully bought into detaching, 180, etc. It was so uncomfortable for the first two weeks, but I have made some solid progress. Only sent 1 text to her over the last two months. I love the way that you talk about my FIL being the OM. Great perspective on that.
Part of me thinks with my depression that I became a passive husband. I am a nice guy, but really don't think I have NGS. I didn't put my wife on a pedestal, but that might have been a problem due to her emotional immaturity. It's funny how all of these stories are the same. My wife was the kindest soul to everyone before all of this, but really she has a hard time saying no, and is severely impacted by other people's moods, actions, etc. I have had two counselors mention that she is no doubt codependent. At first I felt a lot of guilt that I created this current selfish person, but that's not on me. She was probably always that selfish and I accidentally cracked the door open so to speak.
The good news is I have finally stopped blaming myself. I contributed to our marriage breakdown, but I didn't cause her to leave. You are 100% right. I go through good weeks and bad weeks with GAL. I'm still going though some health issues with my neck, so I can't workout like I normally do, but that's a lame excuse. There are other things I cans start doing more of. I'll come up with a solid game plan. I will admit, I am in a much better place than where I was prior to reading DB & DR and implementing the strategies. Honestly, I do miss my wife and want her back in my life, but I know I will be fine regardless. It's just hard seeing my family suffer with this situation as well. My W has completely removed everyone from her life, including my SIL who was extremely close to her. Her family has also dropped me. No doubt my wife turned them against me. That's what eventually happens I guess when a spouse complains to her family rather than her husband. Eventually they can only take so much of seeing the unhappiness then they start the escape plan.
