Its so, so hard, not to call her out, demand responsibility for what she did, or simply let her know what a POS she has been. She always projected this air of misfortune, injury, innocence and sweetness. She did such a good job convincing me that she would NEVER EVER do ALL of the awful crap she did.
It so much to try and just drop, ignore, and not talk about, or try to get answers / solutions for. The fact that i still partiall view her this way, and that i still call into doubt what was my fault vs hers is really difficult. At this juncture i did not think cognitive dissonance regarding her would still be a factor, whats worse is i KNOW it isnt true, there is no "2 versions of her" or any misunderstanding of waht she did, and how it all went down, but yet there is STILL this mostly quiet dormant thought that bubbles up to the surface from time to time in my psyche and whispers, "She is the woman of your dreams, the love of your life, she couldnt have done theses things, she is your sweet Hunny, your beautiful Helen of Troy. Your Serendipitous Better half. We Love her, We did this, we ruid this and we need her back. Youll wither without her." It takes all my newfound will power to find the voice to speak back and say, "Lies and you know it. You are the addiction talking, she is poison. She is deceit personified. you need to go away and Die Doubt and Love for her. Go Die now"
Her denial of OBVIOUS truths still eats at me, months later.
Gaslighting is a horrible, awful thing.
For any Game of Thrones Fans....... SHAME! *Rings Bell* SHAME!, SHAME! *Rings Bell*.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
