Fmly1st, I still didn't get to re-write my long message and I can't remember everything I wrote, but one thing I wanted to say is that the wayward spouse can snap back to being normal again. My husband did snap back a few times. He was totally out-of-control when he moved out the first time but when he came back he was relatively normal for a long period of time before he got out-of-control again. The problem once this happens is it's hard for things to be the same. Even if your wife returns to normal and wants to re-commit to the marriage there is so much resentment and devastation by that point it makes it hard for things to go back-to-normal. If you make the mistake of continually blaming your wife for what she did, and whatever changes you made to improve yourself during this time don't last, then the marriage could break down again. Or if your wife doesn't have the morals and ethics to stop herself from having another affair then that could happen again too. It seems they can snap back and the marriage can be saved but the marriage remains extremely vulnerable for a long time. It's good to be prepared for what you'll do if your wife wants to re-commit just as it's good to be prepared for what you'll do if she moves out. I wasn't prepared for my husband to return the first time and I did almost everything wrong. Anyway it does sound like the 'no more Mr. Nice Guy' will achieve good results in your case. Even if your wife seems further agitated by it now, she'll respect you more when she comes to her senses.