Helena, you're trapped in a lot of ways and there doesn't seem to be any easy way out. If you can find a way to avoid your husband and reduce the abuse episodes, and if there's no physical abuse, then waiting for your son to graduate seems like it'll benefit him. Your son has enough to handle at this stage in his life and a lot of change coming as he prepares to move out. That might be the best plan of action but it may not help alleviate your mental anguish though. It may be hard to appreciate the little bit if stability that remains in your home right now, but you may appreciate it someday because this might be the last year that your family is together. Perhaps you can think of ways to make the best of it. I see you still have little kids too - it's important to think what's best for them. Another ten or twelve years in a home with one parent who abuses the other and parents who have no functioning relationship, or two homes with parents who move on separately to rebuild their lives. It's an important question for all of us who have little kids and have ability to choose.
