OrangeK, I wish I had those answers. A real psychologist or family therapist would probably be able to help more than the people on this forum though. Here people might tell you what to do or how you should be feeling but sometimes they fail to do what we really need the most - listen and understand. So my response is that you seem to be putting a lot of pressure on yourself, and you're probably feeling a lot of pressure from people who are not experts to do certain things or act a certain way, but sometimes you'll still be struggling and you simply want to talk through your thought process with someone who understands. If you don't get that here then hopefully your new IC will help. Oftentimes we also need to figure things out for ourselves. Even if someone else gives you the answer (like "just move on!") it won't help much until you come to that realization yourself. It seems like it'll take a long time to get your wife off your mind. It's still been less than a year. It could take a long time, but you're recognizing your progress and you seem to be good at analyzing yourself. Maybe you'll have a realization tomorrow that'll help you to move forward more effortlessly. Maybe you're getting burned out from all this analyzing and suffering so maybe one day you'll just be so tired of it that you'll become disaffected and won't care anymore. If you find yourself doing well enjoying your day when you're busy doing other things that's great! I don't know. It's so hard to stop analyzing, especially as new things keep happening and throw you off all over again, but if you're moving on a positive trajectory then at least you can have hope this will get better someday!
