Advice on my scenario pt. 20-Shock Therapy

[OrangeK]

I guess i am wondering why instead of feeling more empowered by Detachment and NC working its magic, i am feeling more and more anxious as the gap of time widens from last time She and I communicated.

I spent a lot of time trying to self reflect on why I am the way I am, and do what I do, Feel what I feel this past week.

I find myself hitting a lot of dead ends there.

I still struggle with the Logic vs. Emotion cognitive dissonance, despite realizing more and more each day how disingenuous, fake, unmotivated, lazy and deceptive PD-WIFE is, and always was.

It like my emotional side REALLY doesnt want to accept what the Logical Side has been explaining, and proving for months.

there is still 5% of me that is waiting to wake up from a nightmare, and realize none of this actually happened.

I have been doing better at moving these feelings aside, enjoying my day and dealing with said emotions later on in the day when I am alone, but I very very much look forward to the day where I realize I havent even thought of her fro days on end.
That will be so liberating.