Just found out I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week. I had put a lot of hope in that. This week has been hard, I think I am experiencing depression.
So sorry you didn't get the job you wanted. I'm sure you are experiencing natural disappointment. One thing that always helped with not getting the job I wanted, or other things, is that I know my God has a plan for my life. He wants the best for me, and sometimes, He has to shut a door...….in order to open another one. In other words, if I interview for a job that "I" think would be good, but God (knowing the future), knows it would be bad, so He closes that door. But if I will trust Him, He will open the way for me for to get the "right" job.
Don't take this as a personal rejection. Don't start beating yourself up, thinking you aren't good enough. You have been, and still are, going through a storm. It gets tiring. You have to find the fuel that feeds your soul. I compare it to the love tank (most everyone knows a little about that), and we can run just so long on the fuel we had stored in our tank. However, if we don't take time to pull over and fuel up......we will run completely out, and then what?
You have had to deal with a lot of negative stuff in your life. That takes a toll on your spirit. You've got to have something positive that inspires you. Something that gets you pumped! It may be inspirational music, motivational talks, dancing, whatever. But you have to go find it. It won't come to you. Know what I mean?
FWIW, my H & I have faced many times we didn't know how we were going to keep the utilities on, make the next car payment, buy groceries, etc. He would go for periods of time without a job (and that is such a stressful time on the MR). I mean, it was so bad we thought living from paycheck to paycheck would be a slice of heaven! By the grace of God, we would come through it. It may not have been the way "I" would have preferred, but we made it. So, my heart goes out to you during this time. Edification has never been my "gift", but I do want to encourage you not to give up hope for your life getting better. This period will pass. (((hugs)))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
