WW-is there hope? Any advise from former WW's

[LANE777]

Sandi
And Good evening whoever is reading this, So its been quiet for a couple of days until last night at 10 pm. I get a text from WW about the kid. She basically said I could take kids all day on Saturday which is today because she has to work till 8. She then offered them to stay with me tonite. Of course I was thinking " why so you can go out with OM" So I replied that I would take them for the day and see what they want to do. She replied that she would ask them right now. The kids said they wanted to stay with her.. I was somewhat relieved, because I love my kids very much but it gives me comfort that they stay with her at night so she's not out with OM. I know I know, she will plan her time with OM while they're with me Sun-Wed.

Today when she brought the kids over I was actually outside when she pulled up in her dads truck. She rolled down the window to let me know I had to take D to a bday party today. I said "okay".I should of left it at that...I said where is your car? She said she loaned it to her parents to go visit family out of town. I said " okay cool..... you look nice today...she smiled and said thanks..I said alright see ya later and walked off. So much for being Mister Detach...Its so f'n hard to ignore someone you love...but I tried to act cool and confident. I got my haircut and my kids were telling me "NICE HAIR CUT DAD" So, I doubt she even cared but you know..you gotta try to build attraction by looking confident and looking good. I don't think I did to much cause it was short and so fast, But I wish I would have walked away after she gave me instructions about the bday party.

A little back ground on the W. She is very passionate about her children. But I have sensed that when they're with me she said she likes her alone time. If you went back 3-4 months. She would never have said she likes her alone time. I think the kids reel her back in a little while they're all together and she likes being the mom in the moment. I can sense that. However, I can tell when she goes to work and hangs out with her friends there, she gets this attitude and they get to talking and reel her back the other way.

Also, so with her kidney disease it has caused her hair to thin out on the top. So she wears a $750 hair piece that you would never know if I didn't say anything. I paid for hair piece too damit! When she isn't wearing it she acts like a mom, a married mom of 4. When she puts it on it makes her look like she's 25 year old gorgeous woman. Its like she puts on a different identity. It makes her feel really good about herself. It takes her 2 hours to get ready for work at a grocery store. She wears nicer clothes and wears perfume. I noticed the perfume a few months ago before she moved out. But lately she has all new clothes.

I feel like the reason she wants the D so bad is that she feels guilty being married and having an affair. She wants out of the marriage so she can pursue and not be so secretive etc.
Do you think the guilt will ever go away even if we do get a D? I remember before I knew about the WW mindset telling her that she most likely be more unhappy being divorced. She was wayward so that was the wrong thing to say.

Anyways I take the kids back to her at 8. I will just drop them off and stay in car and leave. I get them back in the morning.