Advice on my scenario pt. 20-Shock Therapy

[OrangeK]

Despite getting over yesterday's bum out fairly early, I'm still left with a lot of residual thoughts and frustrations. I was reading on someone else's post about how the ww never even seems to give things a chance to, let alone communicate that there are issues going on before things get to BD. the fact that my marriage was killed before I ever even got a chance to fight for it, the fact that she chose to have an affair months and months before I found out and that she wouldn't have told me. I honestly think now if I never confronted about the affair it probably would have run its course But who wants to live like that? in fact that being said I don't think that's the case because she was telling my friends that she was thinking about leaving me in August they just never told me. I can't seem to shake this feeling of wishing none of this happened and that our relationship never fell apart, which is obvious, but The disrespect would have happened eventually anyway. It's who she is. at this point I really shouldn't care about her relationship with om but at the end of the day I still think about that relationship ending all the time. although I do get the feeling that the excitement of the affair has ended and it's basically a relationship of convenience and necessity for her at this point. She has aged dramatically since January. the stress and anxiety of all of this seems to be taking their toll on her. I know this is mine reading and probably not the best thing for me to be doing but I'd rather Journal honestly than not Journal at all. I guess there's a tiny part of me that still can't believe that she's fubar.