Some good points, certainly. But "too many lbs cling to their marriage hoping their old spouse would return and that never happens" is a bit of a stretch, no? I realize there is change, but complete change, as in core values and beliefs? I think ive read countless stories of people who really went off the reservation who realized the way they were living contradicted their cv and beliefs. Im not saying that they will not adjust their belief system to get their fix while they are in the fog....but i would think that eventually will wear off, no?
Its neither here or there because thats out of my control. I need to work on me and start commanding the respect i deserve. I thank you for your input and appreciate your time
You are 100 pct right. I thought i waa doing that but i just wasnt completely there yet. Now i see its the only way....there is no other way but that!!!!!!
Finally makinv some progress with ww in mlc. Shes now sleeping on the couch. Thank god...i couldnt bare to have her next to me anymore. Hitting the gym tomorrow morning early. Onto a much more stable and satisfying way of living.
Hi Fmly1st, I just wrote you a long response but for the first time on this forum it disappeared. I don't think I can re-write all that right now. I'll try again later. Sorry.
This mlc/ww behavior is bizarre/destructive that its almost surreal. Now this steamroller is headed right towards my kids and im really trying to figure the best way to protect them?
My son, 18 just brought to my attention that he was at a concert with this guy and my wife 2 years ago. Apparently they made it look like a coincidence that they saw each other and then had dinner after. I cant begin to tell you how furious i am. Wtf. How can you bring your kids into something like that????? You have to be really sick to do something like that!!!
I know this thing is a roller coaster but what the heck???
So you now know you have been disrespected for two years and worse now your kids know. How do you show them that this behavior is unacceptable and should not be tolerated?
The sad truth is i dont know what my plan of action is yet, other than going dark, gal, and taking care of my kids. Im woried about my kids and the long term damage that this will cause. Ive contemplated throwing her clothes out front and changing the locks...but she will just call the police and i will have to let her in. The other option was to let her father know so he could help get her out of here. But everyone says thats controlling and not my place. So im really between a rock and a hardplace. The girl is completely gone!!!
Last evening my ww/mlc wife picked my oldest son up from work and took a ride to discuss some recent concerns brought up by him and the rest of the family. Earlier in the day my son realized that the om was the same guy who showed up at a concert 2 years ago and also met them after the event for dinner. At the time my w played if off like it was just a coincidental meeting with someone at work. Clearly we all know this was planned! How sick on both their parts to want to bring a high school freshman into something that!!!!!
So my dilemma is have i done enough to protect my kids and show my ww that i will not tolerate an affair/open marriage? I have kicked her out of my bedroom and asked her to move out. Ive also gone dark on her with the only ezception is something for the kids. And just to give you an idea of her mental state; earlier today she texted me about ny son needing to see a psychologist because hes been feeling down and kind of lost recently, UNRELATED TO OUR SITUATION, is how she worded it????. Last evening she had a talk with him for about a half hour, which included her admitting to affair with the om that he met at concert. How the heck could she possibly say that my sons sadness is unrelated to the destruction of his family.
Im really at a lost for words on how anyone could get into this type of state. I know that it happens, ive talked to many people about it and habe read 100s of stories....but this whole thing has been surreal. And believe me all you dbusters...i get the whole let her go, gal, work on myself, etc. But i really do wonder what more we can do from an educatuon perspective, or what have you to possibly prevent this for other families. Maybe somr sort of cognitive testing or something? I dont know, just getting things off my chest. One thing for sure is that i feel new found strength to protect my kids. Im so blessed to have such great kids!!!
I’m very sorry for you man. Just as you’ve said, get the strength from the situation. I know it is hard but what else can you do. You control yourself. Your children know who to trust. Get that power, it is called respect. You have it now.
