You known that story about feeding the good wolf and bad wolf? Thats how it is with me and NG. Its what thoughts i am feeding regarding him. I can turn against him in my mind and see all the bad, to the point that i just wanted to run away.l which i did last week. Or i spend a bit of time with him and my mood changes, and i see good qualities and hope for a future.
My feelings scare me, because i felt bipolar with the extremes. I never felt like that before. To go from 1 extreme in which i was envisioning a future, to i want to break things off he is an evil person.
The good things about him is that his actions are good. He takes care of people/kids in need and at his expense. He is loyal. He is funny. He is smart. He is artistic. He is a home body. He does not drink or do drugs. He is financially responsible. Regarding a relationship, i am pretty sure he would not leave me. I did sonething pretty bad, that i would have ended a relationshio over and he forgave quickly. He wants what i want. Has time for me and wants to soend time with me. We get along and have fun conversations. The bad thing is that he has no filter, says what he wants regardless of crudeness or hurting feelings and cant admit when he is wrong. He admitted that he cant and says he tries to make up for it in other ways. The not being able tonadmit to being wrong scared the hell out of me. Because during BD ex was so so so so wring amd never once admitted to it. My ex was spending 800 dollars a week for years on i believe pain killers while we were living with my family. And he didnt admit to it being wrong. He told me "its my money. I had every right to do what inwanted with it"... he
