The bomb woke me up, but she won't talk

[lusa]

i didn't have to initiate the R talk as she brought up me moving back. She basically said I can move back this week on a 3 month trial to see what happens with us. Then said she didn't want R talks, she didn't want me to sleep in the MBR, still needed space to talk to friends etc. She even said she didn't want me to follow her around I certainly haven't done that, or really any behavior like that thanks to this board.

She said she doesn't want me to see this as us trying but we can go out without the kids and spend time together, as we don't have much money ATM maybe for walks etc. She asked me not to pressure her to R and see if it happens naturally. So we are going to tell the kids that I'm moving back in as friends with W ATM.

She said after 3 months if things aren't better between us then she'll prefer to buy me out of the mortgage than sell the house. She said in 15 years there were some good times (1st time I've heard that since BD) but not nearly enough. And that even if I have changed, she hasn't.

I know I haven't come out of this with any respect and that is important. But I had to solve this financial issue, now I have respite from that situation I will work on rebuilding respect. I also need to properly accept the reality of D and love myself enough to properly know I will be ok.

I've learnt many things here that have really helped me change my behaviour, which has resulted in her offering this. Now I know I really need to pull more 180's namely on snooping & alcohol, DB properly and detach.