Thanks Neffer. I'm not obsessing over it or anything. Honestly, I just feel hurt by it.
I feel like I've completely reached acceptance, and I feel good about the level of detachment I've gotten to. I know I don't need her and at this point I don't know if I even want her. Fortunately, I don't have a need to make that decision right now. I'm on my own path and living my own life. If she asks to be a part of my life again some day things might change, but right now she is not a consideration in my plans or decision making in any way. I'm only worried about what is best for me and for my son.
Despite the amount of pain she caused me, I will always love her. She's the mother of my child and the woman I planned to spend the rest of my life with. I'm definitely not in love with her, but I will continue to love her from far, FAR away and try to remain open-minded regarding R while preparing myself for D and life without her. It's in God's hands now.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18