A familiar story with questions. VI

[SteveLW]

RR17, I had started to respond to your prior update but I was on my phone and it wasn't going well. LOL (Too many typos.)

However, we are past that. Yes WWs like to use lots of manipulations to their advantage to control. Your radar is dead on with that.

However, let me caution you on the overly sensitive LBS thing. Because this is something I am seeing more and more with LBSs. Believe it or not, sometimes the problem with something the WAS/WS does or says is with the LBS, not the WAS. What do I mean? A comment said in jest (I am trying to get people out of my house!) is taken the wrong way due to the sitch. If your W had said that and your marriage was perfect, then you would never have taken that comment the way you did. This is why it is important to take a minute before reacting. Because a LBS' initial reaction is USUALLY the wrong one. At least until they get really good at DBing and detachment.

Now I know you already have admitted that the actions above were not good. So I won't lecture you. However, you had gotten to a place where you thought you were detached. Detached means you wouldn't have looked at her phone. Nor sent the text afterward that you sent. I know respect is rightfully a big thing when dealing with a WW. However I don't see how a potentially innocent joke in jest on a private text exchange is the same as open disrespect. Open disrespect was her storming out of the house with D15 after the escalation. To me that was worse than a joking text to another woman.

Just some things to consider moving forward. We all struggle and make mistakes. The key is to learn from them and do better from that point forward.

Upward and onward my friend!