Helena, yeah, I see the difference. I've read about co-dependency and the definition but I think there's root cause. My theory on the root cause might be totally wrong. It's not based on any research. I think in any case we'd all benefit from diversifying our social networks so we don't depend so much on one partner but it sounds like co-dependency in a clinical sense fits a very narrow definition and I'm not an expert in any way. I feel I've had elements of co-dependency in my marriage, some good and some bad. In my case I've been through five counselors and a psychologist since this all started and no one has diagnosed co-dependency. Has anyone that for you? I feel a lot of my uncertainty about these things is you never know who's qualified to diagnose them. But we can always keep learning and improving without waiting for someone else to give a name to what we're feeling or how we're acting right? I'll try to look more into the actual treatment for co-dependency rather than just focus on the cause. I hope you're getting some good info for yourself.
All, so my husband just randomly called to talk while our daughter is at school. He talked about his job search and what he's been up to. It was a very normal mundane conversation. He talked and only asked me one question the whole time about some friends of ours. It seemed he just felt like talking. It seemed ok. I don't feel emotional or hopeful or disgruntled. I sounded supportive but not too enthusiastic. I write a lot about my internal feelings but on the outside the relationship has been steadily improving. A few others here have written that as soon as they got divorced or accepted their husband or wife's announcement to divorce then their walkaway spouse became nice again. Maybe that's how it is with my husband. Or maybe we're taking small steps towards reconciling but I don't really want to think about that. I feel I can be friends with my husband for as long as we're both single. We'll see.
