My buddies and I discuss woman who have sex on the first date and unfortunately we know that if they did it with us they have done it with another man as well. As you know some of it is male/female stereotypes that society put labels on (ok for the man but not ok for the woman) however the men that I know would probably not consider a woman for a long term partner if she is having sex on the first date.
GRRRR....misogyny makes me so freakin' mad!
How about this Joseph - how about when your friends say something like this, you call them out as hypocritical man sluts? How about you be the standup guy that respects women and stands up for their rights, and challenges the misogynistic thinking around you? Try it some time.
Now yes, it's true, some men might think like that BUT IF THEY DO WE DON'T WANT THEM ANYWAY!!!!!! Certainly intelligent accomplished women like Ginger don't want guys with such stone age attitudes.
Now Ginger - that being said, it is kinda true that many people (men and women) seem to value something if they have to work harder for it. Think of all the people who tell their "how we met" stories that involve one party working really hard to get the other to go out with them. People love that sh!t and it is true that sleeping with someone early on deprives them of the chance to build that story. Also, you like many people start to get attached (that darned oxytocin at work, released during sex) before you really have time to learn whether you like the other aspects of this person (like, he's a bad communicator who doesn't seem to want a relationship and doesn't make you feel valued).
The way I see it, you have a few options here: 1) Just decide that he's a FWB and nothing more, and start dating other men. I mean, the sex IS good and you've suffered from a dearth, there is some value to that. However I think it would be too hard for you to divorce your feelings from the situation to actually enjoy that.
2) Actually ask for what you want. To do this you must accept all the possible outcomes, including learning that he doesn't care enough to actually text you. But it's also possible that he might just be clueless in this regard - it's fair to give the guy the chance to remedy something that bothers you so much. You could just simply say - "you know, the fact that you almost never text me between dates makes me feel like you aren't very interested" and see what his response is.
3) Wait and see if he contacts you WITHOUT you or your cousin saying or texting a thing. If he takes 2 weeks or longer, then you HAVE A DATE if he calls you again. YOU ARE NOT AVAILABLE. This has the advantage of possibly stimulating him to pursue you BUT it also sets up a secret "test", which I never like - women do this to men all too often.
My preference is for 2 - just ask for what you'd like and then if he doesn't step up you'll know for sure he's just not interested in a relationship and can move on. And if he does step up you'll know he's at least interested.
