Can I really do this #5

[Dtrmned]

W is really pushing to sit our S down and let him in on us getting a D.
I know this will break his heart, and that he does deserve to know if it is really going to happen.
My issue is, W and I had a small discussion on it last evening.

W: Did you read through that link about telling the kids about the D?

Me: I did

W: Well, what do you think?

Me: I'm thinking on it. This is tough.

W: You are just trying to put things off and stretch this out again.

Me: No, my concern is more for our children. Our D already knows since she has heard us. I just don't want to break his innocence even though I know we have to do it. Just struggling with it.

W: I think you are just putting it off.

Me: I believe that you think every action I have in some way is geared towards keeping us in a marriage.

W: Yes, I do.

Me: I will admit that I do not want a D. I would love to find a path for us to work out our MR. I am doing my best to respect the fact that you do not want this. I am not dragging anything out, nor am I stretching this farther than it need be.

W: Well, what do you think about telling him?

Me: I think it would be better to tell him after we have everything worked out, have filed and we only have the waiting period left. That way it is all done, all of us know the timeline, everything has been agreed to, and everyone can begin moving on. Regardless if we are in the same home for a month or two after the divorce is final, at least it is all done.

W: (didn't say anything)

Pretty much end of the discussion.

I don't know what to do with this. She has been much more cold and distant these last several days. She is making an extra effort to have her space. I've given this to her, in fact, I notice, but as far as she knows, I am good with it.

Her request for more space in bed has been totally granted and respected.

Weird. I woke up around 2 am to find her leg over mine and her holding onto my arm.

This morning she was almost pleasant when we said our "have a good day" comments to each other.

Limbo is weird, and I want to protect our children (weird that I always put "my" children then always correct it to "our") through this whole process and I don't know which way is best. I don't want them experiencing the limbo longer than they need to. I want them to concentrate on school, activities, sports, friends and fun. I don't want their home life to basically be a de-militarized zone where everyone is on edge waiting for the next thing to happen. I am jealous at times as my W gets the luxury of spending all day with them while I have to go "slay the dragon" and "bring home the bacon". That isn't too fair at this point. It worked when we were a team.

I know she is still coming out of her thyroid rage, so I am trying to be as patient as I can be.

How much should someone put up with?

I'm ok with my situation, I am not OK with our children's situation.