coming up on 5 months separated...simply today's date compared to the day she left...so much time apart and how quickly it seems to have gone by...memories of our life together come in and out of my mind at the most random of times. my D and I are great and in reality I'm already living my post-D life, if it comes to her filing D would just be the legal action of my currently lived existence. when I have D with me, at least 2/3rds of my life feels complete...I want that last 1/3rd but perhaps it's not God's plan so I must continue coming to terms with that.
friends have been saying maybe perhaps there is not OM. maybe she just lost feelings and took off. it's possible I guess, feel like it would hurt worse if there was not an OM though as that would make me worse about the status of our MR. to not have OM, leave straight away and not be open to saving/working/building a new MR, that's a bigger swing to the confidence in how I was as a partner. but who knows...it's all mindless ramblings on the why/how of W.
looking over the board hard to believe but I feel like an old timer now. even if not for resolution of my sitch, I would be so happy if over time this board had less and less activity and new members. the contrast between the pain expressed and lived on these boards relative to the many wonderful members who offer hope/help/comfort, this is the most terrible sad and wonderful of places the internet has. as always I want to thank any and all of you who have given me support/comfort over my time here. presently in my sitch the only like new event will be W filing for D. before coming here I never considered my R with W AFTER D. to me D was the end of the line for life. don't know what the future will hold for me. just have to keep moving on along with my D. funny couple of days ago I was getting D up from bed at my house and as I carried her she said to me "I love sleeping in my bed"...through all of my other wants for my life to include her mommy, at this time that one sentence was completely all I need.
